Unfortunately, there is a very sad article making the rounds on Facebook and several of my news feeds at the moment about a 7 week old baby who tragically died while bed-sharing with his mother. I don’t want to minimise this terrible loss in any way whatsoever, and I completely understand this mother’s desire to share what happened to her child with others as a way of trying to prevent such a tragedy from occurring again (and I can’t even imagine her heartbreak she must be feeling). However, a lot of the information in this article is not evidence based, and it’s piling a whole lot of fear onto the words “bed sharing”, which isn’t helping when there’s already so much fear and misinformation out there in the first place. (I’ll put a link to this article at the bottom of this post so you can read it for yourself if you want).
First, the article doesn’t mention if this mum made a deliberate choice to co-sleep with her baby, and had therefore baby-proofed her sleep environment with that in mind, or if instead she had accidentally fallen asleep with her baby in her bed. We know that accidentally falling asleep with a baby in an unsafe sleep environment is much more dangerous than making the sleeping environment safe, and planning on sleeping with your baby in your bed. The mum doesn’t say that she was co-sleeping or bed sharing. She says that she fell asleep with her baby, and the baby slipped off the breast. These are two very different scenarios.
We don’t know if this mum was exclusively breastfeeding or not. The recommendations we do have make it very clear that co-sleeping should only be done in an exclusively breastfeeding relationship. Even one or two bottles of artificial baby milk a day can put babies into a deeper sleeping pattern that is harder for them to rouse from, and it also weakens the mum’s instinctual awareness of her baby in bed with her.
Waking up repeatedly to breastfeed a baby and accidentally passing out from exhaustion in a chair or on a couch is actually much more dangerous for your baby than deliberately planning on co-sleeping safely with them. There are hormones released during breastfeeding which are designed to help both you and your baby to fall asleep, so it’s very common to nod off while breastfeeding. It’s better to plan for this occurrence to happen in a safe environment, rather than fighting against sleep (and most likely losing the battle) propped up in a chair or on a couch.
Also, the title of the article itself makes it sound like *breastfeeding* was the reason that this baby died, when actually it wasn’t the breastfeeding, it was unplanned bed sharing. In reality, all the evidence we have tells us that exclusively breastfeeding is some of the best protection we have against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
The article keeps linking to a parents.com article as evidence, saying things like “experts have found…”. Unfortunately, parents.com are not experts on co-sleeping, bed sharing or breastfeeding. Professor Helen Ball and Dr. James McKenna are experts on co-sleeping.
And finally, we need to remember that co-sleeping is not a “trend”. Parents aren’t doing this because it’s cool. They’re doing this because it’s the biological norm for our human species, and the way that we’re supposed to feed our human babies. It’s also the best way to get more sleep as an exhausted new parent, IF you’re exclusively breastfeeding, and IF you make the sleeping environment safe.
So how do you safely co-sleep?
In a nutshell: you need to be exclusively breastfeeding, make sure the mattress is firm and not something you sink into, and that any cracks between the headboard and wall are packed with rolled up towels or clothing so there are no gaps. Duvets and pillows need to be kept well away from the baby (including snoozepods and snugglers and sleep positioners), and the baby should zipped into a sleep sack rather than swaddled, with their head uncovered (and their arms free) The temperature of the room should be about 18 degrees Celsius, and the baby should be dressed appropriately so that they don’t overheat. The baby needs to have been born at term, and should be placed on his/her back to sleep. And obviously, mum and dad both need to be nonsmokers and sober.
Want better evidence than my word alone? Professor Helen Ball’s research from Durham University is one of the best places to start. She has a fantastic website you can visit which talks more about where babies sleep, and how to make their sleeping environment safe.
Dr. James McKenna, director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame, also has an excellent guideline on how to make the sleeping environment safe.
And finally, if you are an exhausted new parent who is combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk and artificial baby milk) and wanting to co-sleep but unable to do so because of these guidelines, putting the baby in a side-car cot that attaches next to the bed (so that they have their own separate sleeping environment while still being very close to you) is a good option, or else a bassinet close to your bed. You could also look into using a baby box in your bed with you, which research from Finland is supporting (although if you’re going to use a baby box, there shouldn’t be any extra padding, blankets, bumpers or pillows with the baby, just a baby and a zippered sleep-sack).
(And finally, the article in question can be found here.)